Comic Type: Starcraft II |
Posted: Tuesday August 10th, 2010
- [ Size: 600x450 ]
I was all over this forum then I left after awhile, not sure why. Just sort of peaced out. I'm insanely drunk as I type this and I just want to tell my story.
When I was a member of this forum earlier, I was so happy. I was a kid in highschool. I had nothing to worry about, I look back at my posts before and wish I had those problems now because life was just perfect then, even if I didn't think it was. I am now 25, I was about 16 when I first started posting here. I honestly have no idea why I am posting a new thread. I guess I just walk to talk to people who aren't biased. My friends all know I am an alcoholic. The cops took me to a hospital to deal with this about three weeks ago, my roommate called the police because apparently I wrote a suicide note. I can honestly say I don't remember writing that because I was in the middle of a drinking binge. I was released and for a couple of weeks I did great. I went to the gym like I used to, I didn't drink, I ate well. Now I sit here typing to all of you saying I am so drunk it's hard to see. All of my people my age are so farther in life. They have good jobs, wives and husbands, kids, money, all that crap. Here I am making less money now than I did when I was 20 working at a retail store. I was a coach at a gymnastics facility earlier, I was fired for asking a raise. I was blacklisted apparently because I can't get a job at another gym. I had a girl but we were never "official" even though I saw her all the time. I would have died for her but she didn't feel the same. We tried having sex a lot but I couldn't "perform" because I knew she didn't feel the same as I did, so that was a huge shot at my self esteem...I can't believe I just admitted that.
I had a career in music for a bit, I had a studio I was able to record at and I ended up not going a lot because I just stayed home and played videogames getting drunk. Now I am working a crappy job with a terrible manager. I am on antidepressants and I am doing all this positive thinking crap but I can't get over this terrible feeling. I have nothing to be sad about really...I have a roof over my head, food, water, and all that.
I really don't know why I posted here tonight. I just wanted to be honest for once I guess.
I just want to be happy again.
[ discuss ] - replies ( 2 ) last post by: Jain Farstrider